I can relate. I have been a profoundly different person since I started digging in 2018. It is hard to remember who I was before then. I just don't trust people like I use to. My ability to give people the benefit of the doubt has decreased to an all time low. When I focus on God (which I have not been doing as much these days) it helps me tremendously. I am just tired... battle worn. It is difficult to describe. They say ignorance is bliss and I do miss some of the old less cynical version of myself. The version with less scars that looked at the world through a window that filtered out much of the negative things about our world. I know the only way getting back to who God designed me to be is is through Him. Your honesty is appreciated. Everyone deserves happiness.

Thank you for sharing this, I was a little nervous about being so raw about something I struggle with. It's hard to be vunerable, the world perceives it as weakness instead of strength. I was not in the highest of vibes yesterday and just felt moved to release that thought in case anyone else could relate. I feel like anyone who did interact with this post are people who can. I'm trying to take a peak over my wall so maybe others won't be so hesitant to have a look over their own wall.