This week is just difficult, spent last Christmas in hospital bedside, watching my dad die slowly until he passed Boxing day morning.
Got crappy news yesterday that seems to have dashed all hopes of escaping this crackhead community in which we live in fear daily and are threatened in our own home, my kids will suffer this trauma for life and its all my fault for not having the means to escape.
All I dream of is property with no neighbours, peace and quiet to grow food to share with others who need it, to show others via free workshops how to grow food, preserve food, grow and make natural medicines.
My mental health has never been this bad, recent experience of being threatened with a knife by junkie neighbour has stirred up my ptsd that I have had mostly under control for the last 8 years (from an abusive relationship I was in since I was 15).
Why does it all come down to money?!
I feel like a complete failure and have lost all hope.
Sei qui per un motivo, non รจ un fallimento.
Thank you, Im trying hard to remind myself of this ๐
Io ho perso mio padre in dicembre 2022....qualunque sia l'etร di chi perdiamo รจ sempre dura farcene una ragione. Mantenere il nostro equilibrio mentale e spirituale ora รจ piรน importante che mai, per ciรฒ che arriverร dopo. Saremo forti per aiutare gli altri, siamo qui per un motivo!
I am so sorry you know the pain I am going through.
It is so hard when you miss someone so much.
Sending you much love ๐
E' una "condizione" strana che molti di noi stanno attraversando. Dovremmo ragionare sul fatto che ogni evento della nostra vita forse aveva uno scopo....un motivo che va oltre noi stessi ma รจ una parte essenziale del percorso e del nostro viaggio. Alcune anime che ci mancano in realtร ci sono piรน vicine ora che mai....difficile spiegarlo in un post.
The last few years certainly have been a shake up! I understand what you mean about them being closer, its just hard to get through the regrets, what if's and should haves :(