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Been there! In 1979 I gave my life to Jesus not because I wanted too but because I was at a place where suicide looks like an escape from the Life of fear I was living in.....I went to a little church out of duty to a friend who invited me!
He knew I was living in fear induced coma both mentally and spiritually speaking, my thoughts were only of the evil I had submitted too 12 years earlier. Witchcraft had eaten a hole in my soul, stolen my innocence over time and I did not know how to be free!
I desired power over others, I got it but paid more back in giving my life to satanic fear of what would happen if I died, I knew the bible said it was wrong but the heaviness of having no way out made my life hell on earth!
As I sat drunk and high on drugs in the back of the church God began changing my future by wiping away my excuses, healing my attitude and blowing up my heart for him!
I haven't looked back, still make mistakes but I know their learning times not the end in thems