This week is just difficult, spent last Christmas in hospital bedside, watching my dad die slowly until he passed Boxing day morning.
Got crappy news yesterday that seems to have dashed all hopes of escaping this crackhead community in which we live in fear daily and are threatened in our own home, my kids will suffer this trauma for life and its all my fault for not having the means to escape.
All I dream of is property with no neighbours, peace and quiet to grow food to share with others who need it, to show others via free workshops how to grow food, preserve food, grow and make natural medicines.
My mental health has never been this bad, recent experience of being threatened with a knife by junkie neighbour has stirred up my ptsd that I have had mostly under control for the last 8 years (from an abusive relationship I was in since I was 15).
Why does it all come down to money?!
I feel like a complete failure and have lost all hope.
Please do not lose hope dear one. Believe in your own vision of yourself and what you want for your family. You have the power to overcome.
When I read your post, I thought of this post from Doq Holliday, posted 2 days ago. It might be a good place to start. When you say it..believe it.
Doq Holliday @doqholliday
2 days ago
You will own your own home on your own property in the most ideal location for you.
And you will be happy.
Say that 3 times in a row, 3x per day.
Thank you, I am clinging on to the hope of freedom for my family.
Every day I sit and envision what it will be like, the joy it will bring me to provide for my family and any one else who needs food.
The last 2 months have been so tough. I am trying so hard to remain positive and have hope when I just feel like falling in a heap.
