And I said, βHere am I. Send me!" π
Confession:
I went quiet on you guys, I walled off and shut you out and for that I'm sorry. π I convinced myself no one cares anyways. I have struggled for a long time now with PTSD, anxiety and depression. You wouldn't even know it because I hide it so well π
I have lied and said I'm happy when I'm not so I didn't have to feel isolated. It's a constant internal battle to be honest about when I'm in pain because in the past it's been met with abandonment. I learned to perform so I wouldn't be alone. Even if I was in anguish inside you'd never know on the outside because I bury it. Even now as I type this I can feel that same fear that people will stop talking to me because I'm not posting only good things. I'm sorry I'm so fearful about sharing my negative emotions.
Learning the "old ways." Healthy diet, *good* Rediscovering my connection to God and all that is good.
Even though our interaction is minimal i appreciate when we have them. I hope this video/message resonates with you as it has me. My wife and I attended this local church with some friends for their Christmas service. We were impressed with the delivery and how it was more a teaching moment rather than preaching.
https://youtu.be/ly-lAoNPMhg.
Thank you for sharing it with me πππ€