And I said, “Here am I. Send me!" 🕊

Confession:
I went quiet on you guys, I walled off and shut you out and for that I'm sorry. 😔 I convinced myself no one cares anyways. I have struggled for a long time now with PTSD, anxiety and depression. You wouldn't even know it because I hide it so well 😅 I have lied and said I'm happy when I'm not so I didn't have to feel isolated. It's a constant internal battle to be honest about when I'm in pain because in the past it's been met with abandonment. I learned to perform so I wouldn't be alone. Even if I was in anguish inside you'd never know on the outside because I bury it. Even now as I type this I can feel that same fear that people will stop talking to me because I'm not posting only good things. I'm sorry I'm so fearful about sharing my negative emotions.

Retired Pediatric RN and farm wife. Treasure my family, God & country! Fight for Justice, Truth & Freedom always! I Am That I Am.🌹

In response Serah Oceane ♡ to her Publication

Only thing I would change in this video is that when they say quiet people have anger; I would say it’s more great frustration than anger and others misconstrue your outburts because they don’t truly understand you (A counseling AhHa moment). Beautiful video though otherwise! 💯🌹♥️🥰

And I said, “Here am I. Send me!" 🕊

In response Stevie King to her Publication

I would agree with you it is more frustration than actual anger

When it was told to me in counseling, my husband kept saying she’s just so angry & yells all the time, counselor looked at him & said do you understand the difference between anger & frustration, my husband gave him a puzzled look. Counselor went on to say your wife wears her heart on the outside unprotected & gives deeply from there; when she is not heard, attacked, threatened, ignored, disrespected, or belittled, she is deeply wounded & what better way to be heard than to yell. I just broke down & cried & couldn’t quit, looked at the counselor & said “finally someone who gets me!” (Narcissistic Ego, money leaverage, addiction behaviors are his, enabling, allowing & not setting boundaries were mine; with help we made it through to a better place, not perfect but better. Unfortunately, now our son struggles & mimics his father’s behaviors, but now I have the tools to withstand his arrows!🙏🙏🌹🌹

In response Serah Oceane ♡ to her Publication

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