Why do we have to go to crypto?
I want cold, hard precious metals.
I'd be okay lugging around gold, silver and platinum coins. Truly.
No more abstracts, promisory notes, fiat, flakey online stuff. Give us something we can hold in our hands and know it's really there.
Who's with me?

If a bad guy knows you carry gold they will just take it from you.
However here is the best alternative I have found that could work.