I AM an optimist. I AM here for our children. Following Q since the first drop. I Trust the Plan. #Family is Everything. #LOVE wins.
The process of detachment - necessary to survive the emotional/spiritual attacks from those closest to my heart - has led me to a place of solitude and present moment awareness.
No longer do I plan for a personal future, create dreams, imagine my life here with family... I simply cannot see further anymore, nor do I seem to want to, nor do they seem to want me.
This has been replaced by a deeper feeling / pull... out, away, far, far away... where all this finally ends. I Am not the same as I was.
I feel sad letting go... of the life I held dear without the knowledge of what will replace the habit of those old dreams, of certain certainties I believed in that comforted....all been stripped away.
I have work to do along side with you all, but after we have fulfilled our calling, I feel I simply don't belong here/anywhere anymore.
Nothing fits.
I believe ‘the nothingness’ expresses the optimum that anyone can feel right now . Rebirth, expansion of knowingness and awareness cannot happen if we are still held in our old restricted stete of mind.
So really it couldn’t be better even if it doesn’t appear so at the moment. For now, we have each other.