1st entry...

When you enter a different world, not your normal, how do you learn how to live it while still doing what brought you there?
Among the many things that conflict with my thoughts and emotions, I have realized love is one of the worst experiences I am having. When I landed here, by the first week I realized that there is a lot of love. Openly shown, for that matter.
I know love, not that where I am from there is none... No but this kind of love is different. It is public, it can be seen, it is gentle, it is consuming and I hated it at first, but after 3 months something within me awakened. I want it. I am craving for it and it makes me feel like I am going to go insane.
I have known transactional love ever since I was young. I did not grow up in a typical household, and at the orphanage, you kind of had to fight for some love from our'mom’. And how would you get some of it by being a good kid? Offering to do chores that you do not even want to do?
Try to snitch on so

So I just had a breakup with my situationship and this brought some very bad feelings and memories of my childhood. And I ended up just writing a whole page about it.

I have proof read it cause I am not read what I wrote (in tears for that matter.)

This will be like a collection of stories from my memories that are conflicting with my adulthood.